What Now?
I am Going Back with YWAM to Kona!
I am on a new path. A path that even if I knew all the legs I would not have understood. God in his wisdom has been slow in revealing his plan to me yet faithful in sustaining me on this journey. As many of you know I have undergone a Nazirite Vow these past 2 years and this has been my greatest source of joy. What I thought I was doing for the Lord was actually God giving to me. This time has not been a trial or a sacrifice but a gift. I have lacked no good thing and what I gave up, he gave back in showing me who he is. For those who do not know. 2 years ago I returned from a mission trip with YWAM changed. I was not the same person I left and I hope to never return to that person I was. Conscious of this and how easy it is to fall back into sin and complacency I knew I needed a tangible reminder of the life I was committed to. So shortly after I returned home I was compelled to undergo a nazarite-type vow. After praying about it and considering the details I decided to consecrate myself to the Lord for the next two years by vowing not to cut my hair, Drink alcohol, not to date and be wholly committed to the Lord. In doing these things I would have a reminder of the promise I made every time I saw (or tasted) my long hair, had to turn down a drink, was in conversation with the women I interacted with and had decisions where I had to choose submission to the Lords will. I will not say I kept these perfect, I tried, but I still fell short. Probably in more ways than I even realize. Yet God, during this whole time was perfect. He provided me with work to support myself and placed me around people I didn’t yet know I needed. A vehicle that has refused to die (which I promise has nothing to do with its mechanic.) Education and opportunities for my faith and knowledge to build me in to the man God has made me to be. Strength, when I had none and so many more blessings. As this Vow’s time has come to an end I am entering into what I believe the Lord has next for me. I am going to be going into missions. Spreading the gospel and making disciples of men. I will be joining with a friend and mentor of mine whom I deeply respect for a program he is starting. which in these two years unbeknownst to either of us the Lord has been preparing me for. We will be taking 10-15 students through 12 weeks of lectures and preparing them for a 3 month mission trip to the NGABE people in Panama. The focus of this program will be Adventure. Not in the sense of adrenaline or crazed excitement all thought that will be there. But in the knowledge that the true adventure is found in the gospel. We can pursue many exciting things but they end and will cease to satisfy. The Gospel will never grow old. It is always new. The Gospel is what will restore our families, Heal brokenness, love the unlovable and do the impossible. Turning the hopeless into an undeniable testimony. So please be praying with me that I would have confidence in the work the Lord has accomplished in me and the work he has ahead of me.
Arriving Back in Kona June 20th, 2023
This has been a difficult and trying year for my faith! With many ups and downs, questions about where I was going and who it was going to be with. My only comfort has been in the Author and perfecter of my faith.
Deciding to return to YWAM after almost 3 years has been a big decision. There are so many unknowns to this choice that I still do not understand and have no clue how the Lord will provide through present circumstances. Yet I am confident that He who took me this far will be able to take me all the way. All the plans I have for this year are at a point that they could fall away at any moment, yet it is only through the Lord’s provision that they have not fallen through already. The fruitfulness of this year is honestly amazing. So many things have already happened that I would have never thought possible and I am so grateful, to him who makes the impossible happen.
There lies the theme of this School I am Joining Island Adventure DTS. When Daniel invited me to this school I immediately connected with the integral gospel aspect of adventure and that leading us to the heart of GOD! The Gospel is an adventure. It is the true adventure. Many things in this life will excite us but only the gospel never grows old, never does it get tiresome or stale. But in the gospel there is Life and life abundantly. Through this 6 month school there will be plenty of great adventures to be had, from cliff jumping to diving to exploring. Yet the piece we as a staff are excited about is the life in the gospel that we are taking by faith. Apart from that we would not be here.
June 20th, 2023
Less than a day into the life on missions and I am feeling the struggles. Arriving in Kona has been simultaneously enlivening and painful. Walking around the city I am recalling many wonderful memories as well as some painful ones. Remembering times of great growth among friends and the loss of those same connections I once had. Being faced with the great disparity between the beauty of Gods creation and the pain of the local people lying on lonely streets with needles next to them. The pain here is great.
Among this I am facing the inner turmoil of leaving behind friends and family back home and the unknowns of when I will again be with them. This move, I am still praying would be a long term move but the unknowns make it hard to swallow.
One thing I am taking heart in is something I heard from a friend I was with recently. “It does not matter the size of our faith, but the object of that faith.” We can have all the faith in the world but if my faith is not grounded in who Christ is, that faith is dead. So this season my hope is not that I would find the community I desire or my relationships would work out or I would be able to replace my now broken iPhone. But in the security I have in my relationship with Christ. I am not seeking the ends of my time here. I am seeking Christ and his kingdom and his glory. Seeking Christ and how he will meet my needs “looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith”
